


Let's Pretend

by Ardwynna



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Gen, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 22:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5944735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ardwynna/pseuds/Ardwynna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aerith lived most of her life in a very big cage. She learned how to cope with the worst of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Pretend

Let’s pretend there are no walls  
no long hallways, no bright lights  
no cages, no needles  
no tests at all  
Let’s pretend.  
Let’s pretend she is here  
that they let her stay with me tonight  
and we pretend there are no walls  
Just space  
like she says there is.  
I don’t know what that looks like.

Let’s pretend this is a game.  
We are playing hide and seek  
or maybe tag  
Let’s pretend there are no guns  
and no helicopters up above  
no bullets raining down.  
Let’s pretend we didn’t fall  
That didn’t hurt  
The ground isn’t red  
Let’s pretend that she can still run and carry me.  
This game is hard.

Let’s pretend I’m like everybody else  
with a normal Mom  
in a normal house  
Let’s pretend what I hear  
is a friend no one else can see  
like the ones the other children have  
Let’s pretend that’s all it is  
Let’s pretend I don’t still hear her.  
I hope she can forgive me.

Let’s pretend this earth is endless  
Let’s pretend these flowers are the world  
that they go on forever  
and there are no people outside  
in dark suits  
dressed to kill.  
Let’s pretend.  
Let’s pretend.

Let’s pretend I’ll actually believe a silly boy for a moment  
Let’s pretend he’ll actually get that date  
That love is real and not a thing for sale  
beneath the plate  
Let’s pretend I’m normal and he’s risk-free  
and we can make a life together and  
one day I can stop pretending.

Let’s pretend it never happened  
or that it doesn’t matter so much that it did.  
Let’s pretend he found someone else  
someone better, that part’s not so hard.  
Let’s bury our hands in the dirt and the flowers  
and send the letters away.  
Let’s pretend this didn’t hurt.  
We’ll pretend and pretend that we didn’t hear that Lifestream cry  
Didn’t feel the spirits shift.  
Let’s pretend it was nothing, nothing  
and life will go on as it did before.

Let’s pretend I’m not afraid  
and that it’s no big deal  
that they would use a child to cage me  
Let’s pretend I’m not shaking to be back here  
in this white place  
with only walls

And I can pretend I’m not too gleeful  
not jumping for joy inside  
when the doors open up  
and we find him lying there.  
Let’s pretend I’m not spiteful  
and angry  
and glad to see him dead  
for everything he took from me.  
Let’s pretend I didn’t have those wicked thoughts  
before wickedness finds me.

And now there’s no need to pretend  
because there are no walls  
no metal ceiling  
Just space and fields,  
earth, flowers and grass  
and sky above, with sun and stars and actual rain  
Let’s pretend it doesn’t scare me  
after all this time.

Let’s pretend that this is nothing  
This life, this strength I’ve gained,  
no big deal  
Let’s pretend I’m not bitter  
for the wasted years  
trapped and caged away from sun  
and the wind and the rain  
that nourish my body and my soul.  
Let’s pretend I always knew  
what I could do.  
Let’s pretend I don’t resent them  
for stealing this from me.

I can’t pretend I’m not concerned  
for people falling apart around me  
for losing more fragments from the past  
There are so few who ever knew me  
as much as they could when   
I scarcely know myself  
from so much pretending.  
It might be time to stop.

It is the truest thing I’ve ever done  
and no one was here to see  
and if I’m scared I didn’t hide it  
or pretend that I am something I am not  
I am myself  
in all my strangeness  
with a million million strange voices gone before me.

Let’s pretend this is okay  
that it didn’t hurt  
and I’m ready to go  
Let’s pretend this is just another  
in the long string of my life’s goodbyes  
and that I don’t regret  
lost chances  
and I’ll be okay  
because I always am  
even if I have to pretend  
for a while  
that this wasn’t  
way  
too  
soon.


End file.
